Lost & Confused

[SageTavers]

Let up. She let those words kind of sink in, let it sink in that he had to go wherever he wanted him to go. Who was he? An' the thought of Jack having to obey someone didn't settle with her right. Mostly because she knew it had to be driving him absolutely ape shit insane and she didn't like it. It was like watching a majestic creature be caged, and watched its light dwindle out. She sucked in a deep breath, let it out slowly, he was telling her shit happens but she didn't mean she felt responsible for what was going on.

Just that he felt this need to apologize to her. She blinked a few times though when he gave her shoulder a bit of a nudge and glanced over towards him, taking a deep breath to try and steady herself and then let it out slowly.

"...don't want you to go."

She felt selfish, she didn't want to be alone, but she also knew that she didn't want him to be alone. They had hit a huge point in their relationship before everything had hit the fan. She felt like she had just started to truly understand him, get him, and though she probably should have gone running at the fact that his first reaction was violence, it hadn't been, she was okay with it. She rubbed at her face again lightly.

"I'm not pouting."

She was most certainly pouting and she didn't even realize it. It was a look that probably got her whatever she had wanted when she was a kid from nannies and teachers alike. Not her parents, but other adults who were susceptible to things like that.

"I can't do anything?"

She was looking at him again, a bit of hope that maybe there was something she could do, because the part that was just as horrid was how helpless she felt, that she couldn't help him.

[Jack Malone, Jr.]

Only, it wasn't as dramatic as she was thinking; sure, he was lost and confused-- but, he'd already been incredibly broken. Though it wasn't something he let onto at all, obviously; he took it all, flipped it, and lashed out instead of just being a complete and total train wreck. ..Alright, so maybe it was a bit dramatic; not being able to do the things typical of yourself to even ease the unease. It was like aforementioned: he felt like a little kid on a ridiculous blue leash being strung along by someone through a crowded store. It was maddening, sure, but.. his choices were little, and he preferred one over the other.

Her next words only drew a sigh out of him, and he turned his gaze back out to the crowd; it was a bit heated, sure, but all he could do was clench his jaw a couple of times, and fumble with the worn bracelet around his wrist.

"I don't wanna go. But I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna get killed for not goin'."

The words were almost right up to par with the way he usually spoke, but it dwindled down into silence.. even at her denial of the fact she was pouting. He knew it from sight alone, though didn't push it any further. Nah, as much as he'd been scowling and mulling around lately, he had no right.. really. Sage's next question got a faint smirk out of him, and he ducked his head forward for a long moment just so he could scratch at his hairline. There was plenty of things he could have had her do, in all honesty.. but it was a bit harder to come out with a few of them.

"..Not directly, no.." he started, and righted himself again. "You could get to my car 'n grab somethin' out of it for me, though. That would help." And no, he wasn't just being funny.. even if it sounded like it. "Y'wanna do that? I'm guessin' you can at least get to the parkin' lot of the apartment.." And if not, well, he'd just have to deal with it.

[SageTavers]

She didn't think he wanted to go, but she also didn't know the situation completely. Didn't know why he had to go back, but the comment of him getting killed for not going back had her sucking in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She didn't want him to get killed for not going back either. Not being with her was better then being dead wasn't it?

She brushed her hand back and forth through her hair for just a moment before she licked her lips lightly and glanced over at him, as he said she really couldn't do anything and then sat a little taller. She didn't know why but the way he made that comment, the way he stated that if she wanted to help she could get something from his car. If she was playing at sneaking into the garage of his apartment she so very much wanted to try and sneak into his apartment, just so she could.

She licked her lips lightly. Just a moment, studied him though and just let out a bit of a sigh, lifted her shoulders with a bit of a shrug and then let them fall.

"I can do that."

She glanced over towards him afterwards and shifted just a bit.

"What do you need?"

[Jack Malone, Jr.]

Not being dead meant he could, sometimes, manage to be with her-- and, not to mention the whole not being dead part. He still had people to fuck with, world's to watch burn; he wasn't done by any means. But like he said.. shit happens. Of course, not to him usually, but.. it'd really just been a matter of time, right? Karma was a huge bitch, and how he'd managed to go this long was left up to question.

When she straightened the way she did, Sage didn't have to say anything about the way he'd made the comment. And in spite of it, Jack snorted back a laugh and ducked his head forward again. Yeah, well, that whole.. talking thing. He wasn't good at it, regardless. He was always snarky and demanding. It was quite likely it'd slipped out before he even understood the way he'd phrased it.

"You don't have to, or anything." he countered.

Sneaking into the apartment, though, wasn't something he would have advised her to do-- getting to his car, however, shouldn't be an issue as far as that went. When she asked what he needed, he hesitated plain and simple. There was nothing else to call it. Furthermore, she probably had no fucking clue about it.

"First, the handcuffs. They're in the glovebox." Strange. "..In there too, though.. grab the metal Camel cigarette case. It's black 'n red. Don't open it. Just get it." Dare he add in there to grab his spare cellphone? No. It wouldn't have been a good idea, just like him debating on telling her to grab his back up 1911. No. Those things were better off staying out of his reach for the time being.

"I'll stay out til dark." And god, those words sounded so bitter! It was like a kid breaking curfew. "So I can go halfway if y'want. But I'm stoppin' when we get to the dead end." Yeah, he highly doubted people would be lurking up in the trees waiting to spring down on him like in a cheesy horror flick.

[SageTavers]

She had curled her fingertips together, and held them there against her stomach still, thinking. She didn't have to do anything. She knew that. She always knew that, and she'd offered because she wanted to. She had wanted to see him. Had wanted to help him, to try and help him, in whatever way she could. Going to his car didn't seem like much help though and that was a little disappointing, that much was obvious.

She noticed his hesitation and was finally, shifting so she was facing him a little better, studying him a moment, he wanted his handcuffs. She just kind of looked at him, but didn't ask any questions, not yet at least. He told her to grav the camel cigarette case, and honestly she probably wouldn't have opened it, except he'd said not to open it, and it had those brows of hers tugging together lightly and studying him.

"...soo...we walk halfway, and then you wait for me?"

Sometimes she needed it pointed out plan and simple so she knew exactly what she was getting herself into. She pushed up without really thinking about it and held her hands out to him, not so much to help him up but because she wanted to touch him.

Once he was up she didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around him without warning and tip her head up just a moment to press a quick kiss to his lips before stepping back just as quickly as if she thought maybe she shouldn't have done that.

[Jack Malone, Jr.]

"Yeah. Halfway 'n then I'll wait for you."

It really could have been flawed logic, had he been thinking the way he usually did. But with the mind fuck he'd been delivered, he was more or less just stumbling through. In Jack's defense, however, the dead end he was talking about was pretty deserted. No one lived in any of the three houses that cornered it, and rarely any of the city kids were out there messing around-- and had they been, he would've put a stop to it because that was his goddamn territory, whether they knew it or not. Whether it was legit, or not.

When she dropped her hands down to him, he took them both and stood up. Not that he used her to help in doing so, but the touch was nice. He might've even been caught off guard when she abruptly wrapped her arms around him, but he wasn't. Not in the slightest bit. Hey, it was an inevitable sort of thing-- especially after being kept quite apart for a good week or so now. So, that quick kiss just didn't do justice. Jack was quick to snatch her right back over to him, even while walking forward - leaving her to walk backward, of course - and ducked his head down to steal a real kiss; none'a that quick and 'maybe i shouldn't have done that' stuff. In fact, he didn't let up until they were near passing the ticketing area again.

Even then, he kept his hold on one of her hands before venturing further and finally shoving the door open.

"Really doubt I'll get shot or killed for kissin' you, so quit bein' all.. flighty.." It could've been a tease, really.. had he been in the mood to make it such.

[SageTavers]

She should have expected it, but she hadn't. She was already getting ready to take a few more steps back before his arms were grabbing hold of her to pull her right back over to him though it was an odd motion because he was pulling her towards him and walking forward so she was forced to move forward and then back in just a few heart beats.

He surprised her, he really did. By the time the reached the door though she was grinning from ear to ear, that same grin he had come to know and love for just a moment, before she sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, resting her fingertips ran lightly along one of his cheeks.

"Well ... I don't know the rules ... for all I know you can say the wrong word and you're going to end up shot ... or killed..." Yeah. Trying for the tease, trying to direct it right back at him in that moment even though it was hard. She wiggled out of his grasp for just a moment so she could walk next to him then, curling her arm around one of his and leaning into him as they started down the street.

"Can't sleep without you."

And where as most people said shit like that and only half meant it, he knew she meant it. He chased the oncoming nightmares away whether he knew it or not though she was starting to get the feeling that he knew it.

[Jack Malone, Jr.]

It was worth it, in that moment, so long as she'd grinned that grin. Easily enough, Jack let her worm loose so that she could walk at his side, though he didn't let her stray too far.. -- and oddly enough, right as he'd went to reach for her again, she'd already curled her arm around his. "Nah. It's not word-triggered," he said; though, it was kind of odd-- he truly wasn't sure, other than there was a detonator he'd been made aware of. That was it. So long as that was it, he should be fine to talk, touch, and otherwise do whatever he wanted.. so long as he didn't figuratively fuck the guy in possession of it. Right?

Her confession that came next had his head dropping forward some, but only because he understood full too well. It'd already been discovered that both of them had issues with sleeping. And he didn't doubt it for a second, regardless of not knowing he chased the bad dreams away. ..Jack had just gotten used to having her near him. It made sleeping easier, perhaps, because - without admitting it - it wasn't as lonely? He wasn't entirely sure.

"Me neither.."

Of course, he meant he couldn't sleep without Sage. The liquor just wasn't doing the trick all on it's own, just like waking up naturally wasn't quite doing the trick either. Jack was a twitchy mess, regardless. He lead them along down the street and into a long silence that only broke when they turned down one of the side streets.

"Y'know, I never thought I'd be worried about walkin' outside.." It was said with a bitter, short, laugh before he dug a hand into the jean's pocket in search of the crumpled up pack of Marlboros. One was fished out and shakily settled between his lips before being followed with the lighter. A quick flick, and the end was ignited. "It's fuckin' stupid." What? Worrying about it?

Or being scared?

[SageTavers]

His admittance would have usually been meant with a comment that he was vane or conceited because he couldn't sleep without...himself, but his 'me neither', it was obvious he meant with her. Odd how they had relied on each other in such a short period of time, as unhealthy as it might be she didn't care, not in the slightest.

They fell into that silence and it didn't really matter as long as he was right there, and she could walk along side him. She could feel him, that was the important thing. Her arm stayed curled around his, even as they turned the corner down a side street and he started to speak. She tipped her head back looking at him, that frown tugging at her lips again, she didn't like that he was worried about taking a walk outside. She had a feeling worried was code for scared without saying scared.

She nodded her head quickly.

"Very stupid. Beyond stupid."

She couldn't help herself as she paused in her tracks he'd already lit the cigarette but it didn't stop her from letting her hands rest on his waist just curling her fingers into fistfuls of his shirt. She was honestly trying to find words, to make to make it better, to make it not so terrifying, for the both of them. Lips were licked.

"I have this odd feeling that most girls my age would cut and run by this point ... you know I won't ... you know I'm not going anywhere ... right?"

It was all she could come up with at that point but she felt this need to say it, like that was important.

[Jack Malone, Jr.]

It probably was insanely unhealthy, but.. so long as neither of them cared? Fuck it. It was healthier than some things he'd done. Might've been a little more crazy on his behalf, but.. there was no helping it. Relying on her, and her relying on him, to do something as simplistic as sleep..

Worried was indeed a code word for 'scared,' but you wouldn't hear him admitting that any time soon; 'worried' was as close as he'd allow himself to get. Jack didn't get scared, or nervous, or falter at the unknown. It was completely new to him, and wading in the waters.. well.. he was beyond sure that he didn't like it at all. Sure, from time to time, he had the tendency to look over his shoulder.. but never anything like this..

"Guess we all fuck up, huh.."

Just to shift the subject away from that unsaid notion that they both knew was there, right after he'd lit the cigarette and lifted his head again, he'd said that. Smoke spiraled up past his eyes, and he did very little to dodge it that time.. nah, he'd watched the way she fisted up his shirt and was effectively latched onto him. And in all reality, he probably would've done the same thing had it not made him seem so fucking weak, but hey.. when she spoke first, he only exhaled a sigh that was tainted with nicotine-laced smog.

"Yeah?" he replied, first, though dropped into another bit of silence while picking up the pace. It was unintentional, of course, that he was walking a bit faster. "If you don't wanna go anywhere-- I mean.. I'm not gonna try to make you stay 'n wait, if you don't want to. ... I don't even know what th'fuck is gonna happen.." he trailed.

It was just another block before he veered off to intentionally take them straight to the dead end. Where the tree-cover was great, and the path down to his spot was tempting him more so than whatever was in that Camel case he'd mentioned her grabbing out of his car. He took a few steps in, of course, before leaning against one of the bigger trees, dark brown's falling to Sage once again.

"I won't move from this spot 'less I have to."